The Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist part 6 – Awesome but Impractical

Today, I’m covering the concept of flaws as they relate to overpowered characters, because “being overpowered” is not the same as being “perfect”.  With the right flaws, one can not only counterbalance overwhelming abilities, but also devise hilarious shenanigans (and harrowing tragedies, I suppose, but that is not the case in this example). 

The example shall be Konosuba – God’s Blessing on this Wonderful World.  This is a story that has not one, not two, not even three but FOUR overpowered characters (five if you want to include that guy who may or may not have the "cursed" sword, Gram). I am talking about the main cast, of course.

AQUA

Let’s start with Aqua, a literal goddess, who is dragged down to the mortal world by Kazuma to be his “cheat item” on his quest to save the world from the demon king. As a goddess, she has power far beyond any mortal. In fact, her stats are maxed out; they can’t get any higher no matter how much she levels up. Furthermore, she can cast all sorts of healing magic, from mending injuries to breaking curses and even reviving the dead. Her functionally limitless mana means that she can cast these freely and easily.

She sounds totally broken, right? How can the author possibly maintain tension in a fantasy action-adventure story with someone like her? Easy. She causes as many problems as she fixes. Aqua is vain, lazy, whiny, ditzy, and short-sighted. Her laundry list of character flaws makes her as much of a liability as an asset, and all the more so because Kazuma doesn’t want to regularly accept guild quests dangerous enough to merit a healer of her caliber. Thus, he often calls her a “useless goddess”.

MEGUMIN

Second is Megumin, the foremost Arch Wizard of the Crimson Demon Clan and Master of the Most Powerful Spell Known to Man, EXPLOSION!

This is not an idle boast. She really is that powerful. After three seasons and a movie, the number of foes who have survived a single casting of her Explosion can be counted on one hand (Beldia, the Dullahan from the first season, who wasn’t even the main target). She is her party’s ace-in-the-hole, the knock-out punch whom they rely on to defeat their enemies. If she casts Explosion on someone, then they will die, no matter who they are.

She sounds totally broken, right? How can the author possibly maintain tension in a fantasy action-adventure story with someone like her? Easy. She can only cast this spell once per day, because it exhausts her to the point that she is unable to move, much less cast other spells, if she knew other spells. That’s right, she knows exactly one spell and refuses to learn more, because they pale in comparison to her beloved Explosion. It’s implied that she’s gets some kind of dopamine high from casting it and watching the explosion that takes place; the countryside is littered with craters from her daily castings. This a wide-area spell and so the potential for massive collateral damage and/or friendly fire is extremely likely.

Finally, she is “chunnibyou”, which essentially is an obsession with being “cool” and/or “mysterious”, often at the expense of practicality, and for this reason, she is rejected from every party she attempted to join prior to Kazuma’s.

DARKNESS

The third character on this list is a powerhouse, a crusader class adventurer who can effortlessly slice through boulders with her tremendous strength. She is also so physically tough as to be practically invulnerable. An attack that would seriously injury another person is something that she will laugh off, with a wide grin on her face. She will dare her foe to strike her harder and even jump into the path of attacks meant for others. After three seasons and a movie, she has never been seriously injured.  She can even survive Megumin’s Explosion! (It was a complicated situation).

She sounds totally broken, right? How can the author possibly maintain tension in a fantasy action-adventure story with someone like her? Easy. She has atrocious aim. Even in melee, she can’t successfully strike a humanoid target, who is taller than her, not even if they are standing still and she tries three times. This is because she focused her built on defense to the exclusion of everything else.

She’s also a masochist, and at times she seems more focused on…her own pleasure…than protection. No, seriously, her enjoyment of pain and her lewd ramblings of such creep out the demons and monsters that her party fights. For these reasons, she was ALSO rejected from every party she tried to join, much like Megumin.

KAZUMA

That leaves the party leader, Kazuma, the protagonist of this isekai. That means he has some “isekai cheat” that makes life easy for him, right? Well….sort of.  Officially, his “cheat item” is Aqua herself, and we all know how well that worked out. But he is also very lucky. His luck stat is, in fact, his highest stat. Furthermore, he is very clever, with a creative and agile mind that can devise solutions to any problem. This means that he can direct his party members and achieve success as an adventurer, right? Well….again, the answer is “sort of”.

Kazuma is indeed a major reason for the success that his party enjoys, but if he had his way, then the only thing he would ever do is lounge around at home. Kazuma is lazy and was even a shut-in on his home world. More often than not, his party members have to wedge out of his room with a crowbar to convince him to go on quests. He is also so self-serving, perverted (though not to the same extent as Darkness), and dishonest that he is known in-universe as "Kazu-trash" and "Scumzuma", and thus all that cleverness is sometimes used to outsmart himself. Finally, being “lucky” doesn’t always mean “fortunate”, because his luck stat might twist events in a way that seems to help him at the time but actually screws him over in a different way (like what happened at the end of the Destroyer arc). 

On paper, this party sounds like some super elite unit that can defeat any foe and accomplish any objective. In practice, they are a ragtag bunch of misfits who stumble their way through one misadventure after another.  Their “overpowered” traits act as a counterbalance to their sundry faults and vices. This leads to a series that can span three seasons and a movie (and a much longer source material light novel series that has several spinoffs).

Index of the Appeal of Overpowered Characters series:
* The Appeal of Overpowered Characters - Part 1 - No Need for an Underdog
*The Appeal of Overpowered Characters - Part 2 - The Meaning of the Fight
*The Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist - Part 3: What is Gained
*The Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist -  Part 4: Super Combat Power does not Create 
*Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist - Part 5 - I Swore an Oath

Brian Wilkerson is an independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor's degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

His fantasy series, Journey to Chaos, is currently available on Amazon as an ebook or paperback.

 The newest book as of this post: 

Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist - Part 5 - I Swore an Oath

Welcome back to this series. It's been a while. Now that I'm doing book reviews by request only, you can expect more posts like this one, about the craft of writing itself. 

Here I explain the appeal of a protagonist being "overpowered". That is, possessing overwhelming ability that would supposedly remove all conflict and tension from a story, and why an author would want to do this intentionally. There can be many reasons for this, as the index at the bottom of the post will show. 

Today's topic is "I Swore an Oath". 

A character may possess outstanding ability in a field that enables them to conquer any threat and overcome any challenge, but they refrain from doing so because of an oath they made. This shifts the tension from "can they resolve conflict X at all" to "can they resolve conflict X without breaking their oath"? 

This enables the author to present the character as something other than an underdog and still show them struggling. It also provides context for a deeper conflict than "defeat the bad guy". It brings up questions such as "is this victory more important than the oath", which naturally has a different discourse depending on the context. Cheating in a sports tournament after promising to play fair would be different than a duel to the death, and this is without considering the results of such a contest. The sports tournament could involve prize money needed for a loved one's medical bill, for instance, and the duel to the death could be a matter of slighted pride.

For the purpose of illustration, I will reference Ruroruni Kenshin. This is a classic anime from the 90s, long before the isekai genre rolled in. I watched this every day on Toonami. Good times. 

Anyway, the central character here, Kenshin Himura is a superlative swordsman. He has killed so many people during a recent war that he became known as "Hitokiri Battosai", in other words, the man-slaying master assassin. With his ability to kill basically anyone he wanted, he helped win that war and overthrow an oppressive government. Then he watched his benefactors become the new oppressors. This, plus other personal tragedies, have led him to swear an oath to never kill anyone ever again. 

At the start of the story, he vastly outclasses every opponent faces. The first time the audience sees him fight, the fight ends in his favor very quickly. His first notable opponent, Sanosuke Sagara , is so notable for being able to endure more than one hit (in fact, it took a flurry of hits to bring him down). It is not until later in the story, when Kenshin fights Saito, that he is truly challenged when fighting seriously. Is this boring? Not at all. 

This is because the tension of these fights is never "will Kenshin defeat the villain".  Defeating the villain is, in fact, a secondary concern. What he actually wants to do is protect others, typically his circle of friends at the Kamiya Kasshin-ryu dojo. The tension lies on how he can do this without breaking his oath. 

That first villain I mentioned, Kenshin broke the fingers of his left hand to prevent him from holding a sword (the guy already had the thumb of his right hand broken by someone else). As for Sanosuke, Kenshin wore him down and then befriended him. A third instance, late in the story, after the fight with Saito, is crippling an opponent by exploiting a physical weakness through clever dodging. When he can't do this, and thus feels pressured into reaching for a lethal solution, that's when the tension gets really high. 

What I refer to is the conflict with Udo Jin-e, Kenshin's fellow man-slayer from the recent war. When he clashes with Kenshin, the result is the opposite of what the audience has become used to. It is Kenshin who is overwhelmed, and Jin-E is disappointed. 

Jin-E doesn't want to fight the weak. That's not why he has continued to be a man-slayer in the years since the war's conclusion. He knows that Kenshin is holding back, and so he provokes Kenshin into taking him seriously. He kidnaps Kaoru Kamiya, Kenshin's love interest in the main narrative, to force a second and more serious confrontation, and when that proves insufficient, he subjects her to a hypnotic technique that paralyzes her lungs. If Kenshin does NOT kill Jin-E, then Kaoru will suffocate. 

This is the highest point of tension for the series thus far, and still, it is NOT about whether Kenshin will defeat Jin-e. The way the author has constructed the series and this particular event, it is clear that Kenshin will definitely win if he fights seriously. He knows it, Kaoru knows it, and Jin-E himself knows it. All three of them also know that fighting seriously will break Kenshin's oath, which will have terrible consequences for him personally. 

The question then shifts from the straight-forward and simple "can Kenshin defeat Jin-E" to the more complex and interesting "what is more important to Kenshin? His mental wellbeing/his metaphoric soul, or Kaoru's life?"  The resolution to this scenario is likewise a matter more complicated than a simple defeat. 

All of what I have written is exclusively about the fight scenes in isolation. None of the above includes the context of the setting: the Meiji Restoration, the anti-sword law, western influence etc. The series has no need to position Kenshin an underdog in any given fight. It doesn't need to spawn incrementally stronger enemies to maintain narrative tension. It can produce all the tension it needs while allowing Kenshin to be a master swordsman, and all because of the oath. 

Index of the Appeal of Overpowered Characters series:

 The Appeal of Overpowered Characters - Part 1 - No Need for an Underdog

 The Appeal of Overpowered Characters - Part 2 - The Meaning of the Fight

The Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist - Part 3: What is Gained

The Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist -  Part 4: Super Combat Power does not Create

Brian Wilkerson is an independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor's degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

His fantasy series, Journey to Chaos, is currently available on Amazon as an ebook or paperback.

New book up! Catalyst for Glorious Change!

Surprising Readers is Easy but Not Always Wise

"I saw that coming. That story is so predictable". 

This is often a derogatory statement. I read reviews for books, movies, tv shows etc. and I rarely fail to find complaints of this nature (typically in speculative fiction, but that is another topic). Whatever medium it was in, the perceived flaw is lack of originality. The story's theme was tired, the plot elements over-used, seen it before a million times, etc. Rarely do I find complaints that the plot was non-sensical.

In this way, a surprising twist or a shock to readers is seen as originality. The failure to do this is lacking originality, tantamount to regurgitating a previous story. If there is nothing new, nothing fresh, nothing unexpected, then there is supposedly nothing worth seeing. It is seen as a critical flaw. If only the writer(s) did something surprising...

I understand this sentiment. If one experiences enough stories, then one starts to see patterns. One spots common elements. These are properly called "Tropes". Learning enough tropes enables one to make predictions, and thus feel as though they have already experienced the story. This can lead to disappointment. On Tvtropes, this feeling is called "Tvtrope Will Ruin Your Life", because it diminishes the pleasure of the story. 

Certainly, surprise is part of a story's appeal, but it is a narrow slice of it. What these criticisms miss is that surprising a reader is actually an easy thing to do. It is just not always a wise thing to do. 

All a writer has to do to surprise a reader is do something unexpected. That is, to do something that goes against a reader's expectations. Now, all readers are different because they have different experiences, so all readers do not have the same expectations. However, their expectations of a particular genre are likely to be the same.

Some examples -  (These have most likely happened in one story of another -  Zeroth Law of Trope Examples)

If you have a Medieval Fantasy setting with a Quest narrative, then readers expect lots of traveling and monster fighting. Perhaps a dungeon dive or two. Something unexpected would be to have the climatic shown down with the Evil Overlord take place as a literal cooking duel. 

If you have a realistic fiction murder mystery taking place in modern day, then readers expect a list of clues, presentation of multiple suspects, and then a summation at the end, where the culprit is revealed. Something unexpected would be for the culprit to be fingered mid-way through, and the rest of the story to be a long discussion about the appeal of woolen undergarments. 

If you have a romantic comedy that takes place in an outer space/futuristic setting, then readers expect romantic moments between the two leads, silly hi-jinks about their courtship, a Third Act Break-Up and then a happy wedding at the end. Something unexpected would be a talking octopus appearing out of nowhere and telling the leads that they are the reincarnations of gods who are needed to fight evil in another world; no wedding, no comedy, just a bunch of high action monster-slaying that is not resolved at the end. 

No reader would expect that. It would definitely surprise them. This is because it goes against their expectation of the genre.

This is because all entries in a genre are likely to be the same. That is what makes them a genre. Tvtropes even has a page called "From Clones to Genre", which documents the birth of genres, because if you get enough similar works together then you get a genre. There is a self-aware teen slasher' subgenre, seriously, there is. 

No one can say that those three examples are NOT original.  I had to wrack my brain to find something that I hadn't seen before. I haven't seen everything, and the Zeroth Law of Trope Examples is a thing, but I'm pretty sure those examples are not common. 

But are they any good? Maybe, probably not, but maybe. It would take a masterclass of storytelling to pull that off.  A lot of foreshadowing would be necessary to make sense of such a story.  If a new element or story direction comes out of nowhere, then the reader would call foul, right? The story wouldn't make any sense if its tone/genre/etc. changed without any warning. That is something TvTropes calls Shocking Swerve. So, the writer needs to add plenty of build-up and foreshadowing so the surprising and original development makes sense. 

Yet any foreshadowing would tip the reader off, and therefore it would not be surprising.  Therefore, not original, right?

No, it would be original. Maybe. Zeroth Law of Trope Example. Someone has probably done that before, at some point, somewhere. But it would totally be original to a large group of people. But again, would it be any good? 

If someone sits down to read a Medieval Fantasy setting with a Quest narrative, then do they want to see the hero and villain settle things by preparing meals in a kitchen?

If someone sits down to read a realistic fiction murder mystery taking place in modern day, then do they want an Author Tract about the appeal of woolen undergarments?

If someone sits down to read a romantic comedy that takes place in an outer space/futuristic setting, then do they want a mid-story twist into a fantasy isekai? 

Again, maybe. Some people like being surprised. I imagine this includes the reviewers that I mentioned at the start of this post. If someone reviews stories professionally, then they probably see so many stories so often that Tvtropes Will Ruin Your Life kicks in for them and so they seek novelty. But not everyone seeks novelty. Even those seeking novelty would likely prefer a story that makes sense, even if it is not as "original" as they would like. 

If you surprise readers with originality so much that you confuse them, then what have you gained? An upset reader. That is the worst outcome. An upset reader is likely to stop reading and then mock you on social media. Originality is not originality if it causes confusion. It's just a mess. Even if it isn't a mess, does that make it any good? 

Again, maybe. I've said that a lot in this post, because it is an opinion, and opinions vary. Your Mileage May Vary, as we say on Tvtropes. I'm sure there is a group that puts a premium on "originality", even if the resulting story doesn't make as much sense as a more conventional story. Nonsense Poetry is also a genre. Unless you're writing that genre, it would be better to avoid confusing readers. 

That means foreshadowing. It means uses tropes. It means forming a path that your reader might be able to guess. It means crafting a story that your reader will enjoy even if they ARE able to guess. Because you create anticipation, wetting the reader's appetite, and deliver a satisfying fulfillment of that anticipation. 

In my experience, that can be more difficult than surprising a reader. To surprise, you just have to do something unexpected, which is like pulling something out of nowhere. It is easy. To build and fulfill anticipation, you have to actually build something. That requires wisdom. In this way, Surprising Readers is Easy but Not Always Wise.

Brian Wilkerson is an independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor's degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

His fantasy series, Journey to Chaos, is currently available on Amazon as an ebook or paperback.

The Appeal of an Overpowered Protagonist - Part 3: What is Gained

Last time, I discussed the potential of an overpowered hero in a Shōnen fighting show. The example I used to illustrate this potential was One Punch Man.  Yes, even in such a show where the main action is superheroes fighting monsters, there can still be meaningful conflict and excitement when the protagonist is physically invincible and can defeat any opponent in just one punch. 

Even now, I can hear objections. Saitama is apathetic. He doesn't desire anything other than a worthy opponent. "No Game No Life" doesn't count either, because the gamer siblings are motivated (at least in part) by having fun with games and seeking a rematch with the One True God, Tet. The actual troubles of the world of Dishboard don't bother them (at least not as much as other characters, such as Stephanie).  What if an author wants to write a story about a protagonist who has goals? Surely the protagonist can't be overpowered then, right?

Nope, I have two examples for that situation. Now that I think about it, I actually have three or four. I'll stick with one for now.  It is "The Irregular at Magic High School", and features Tatsuya Shiba.

Tatsuya Shiba lives a world of modern magic, that is, where magic has been codified into something scientific (which is different from Ancient Magic, but that is neither here nor there). Those that study magic professionally are known as Magical Technicians, or simply "Magicians". Tatsuya Shiba is among the most powerful of these magicians. I'm not sure of the exact rankings, but I think that he and his sister, Miyuki, rank in the top five for the entire world. And he is still in high school. 

Now, I know what you're thinking. Isn't Tatsuya a Course Two Student, someone who is considered less capable than other students? Doesn't the story make a big deal about this? Regardless of how he fares in combat, doesn't this mean the story is treating him like an underdog? 

Yes, that is part of what makes Tatsuya work as a protagonist despite being overpowered. What Tatsuya seeks to achieve is not something that can be accomplished through combat. He wants to ensure Miyuki is happy and he wants the world at large to recognize magicians as more than wet-ware weapons. Though he can vaporize people from a distance without effort or restriction (than I know of, at least), that isn't going to accomplish his goals no matter times he does it. Though he has poor relations with his family, fighting them in open combat isn't going to gain him anything. 

(Disclaimer: I'm over-simplifying this for the sake of brevity. Tatsuya's mental state and his family situation are a lot more complicated than I'm making them sound here, and he definitely isn't gung-ho about these goals, or really any goals, at the start of the series. But he is ALWAYS presented as a magic technology geek). 

That is the kind of world that Tatsuya lives in and that is the kind of world that the author wants to write about. Tatsuya can be overpowered because it serves the actual interest of the author. 

From what I've read, the author of "The Irregular at Magic High School" is not interested in writing combat scenes, but in dialogues and intrigue. From what I've seen personally, the author is also interested in a hard magic system and in world building. There is a lot more space devoted to the magic system's theory,  the school set-up, and the general magician society, than to combat or displays of magical power. There is a section about public transportation that has nothing to do with the first book's plot. Yes, really. I found it interesting. 

The first arc, the one that focuses most heavily on the "Course Two Student" idea, is supposed to be an allegorical critique of a certain school systems, which prioritize certain strengths in students while ignoring others, and the stigma this places on those students. Tatsuya and Miyuki Shiba serve the purpose of illustrating this distinction between Course One and Course Two. 

Tatsuya is a Course Two Student, yet he excels in many areas, which enables him to outshine students who are theoretically superior to him by supposedly objective measures. Miyuki is a Course One Student, and she is indeed a talented individual, but she constantly seeks to promote her older brother, because she knows that his strengths are valuable and that he is a better magician than her by other standards. Tatsuya being overpowered helps drive this point home. The message isn't "less-talented students can still excel if they try hard", because Tatsuya isn't less talented or hard-working etc. than his sister; the message is (phrased more politely), "this sort of school system is bonk because it stigmatizes talented students". 

Tatsuya may be overpowered, but he gains nothing from shoving his power in everyone's faces. That will not make his sister happy (though I imagine she would take a certain perverse glee in watching her brother's detractors eat crow). Showing off his superlative combat ability would only reinforce the notion of magicians-as-weapons, which he dislikes. The path towards his goal goes through different means. 

Wow, this is getting long. I could discuss the next three arcs, but I will stick to just the Nine Schools Competition arc. 

The Nine Schools Competition is exactly what it says on the tin, a competition between the nine magic schools. Tatsuya is not a competitor in this arc (save one specific exception). He is support staff. He uses technical engineering skills to assist the actual competitors from his school. This is another way that a character can be overpowered but still serve the narrative. Tatsuya's skill as a magic engineer is such that he can fine-tune a competitor's gear to bring out their full potential. The author likes their hard magic system, so this is a big deal for the story, but it is still up to the competitor to win or lose. 

It's like Tatsuya is a support party member in an RPG that can only cast amazing buff spells on the party. He may be why First High wins their bouts, but he is not the one winning. The classmates he supports are the ones winning. This way, Tatsuya can be amazing while sharing the spotlight, and the author can further support the theme from the first arc. 

Tatsuya can, and does, win basically every fight he enters, but he doesn't enter fights without a reason. He's not a blood knight, like Saitama, and he doesn't treat conflict as a game to enjoy, like Blank, the gamer siblings. It's all about what is gained through the action he takes (again, oversimplifying a LOT. The full details behind Tatsuya's motivations are spoilers). There is no single action he can take that will achieve his goal or solve his problems, and certainly not without creating more problems. 

This is what makes Tatsuya the right protagonist for this story. He enables the author to write about what they want to write about: dialogues, intrigue, the hard magic system, etc. If combat comes up, and it does, then Tatsuya can end it quickly and the plot can move on. 

I would write about how Tatsuya doesn't end EVERY combat scene, and the other characters aren't helpless, but this post is too long already. 

Click here to read Part 4 Super Combat Power does not Create

Click here to read Part 2: The Meaning of the Fight

Brian Wilkerson is an independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor's degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

His fantasy series, Journey to Chaos, is currently available on Amazon as an ebook or paperback.

D&D is a unique experience

For the last several weeks I've been going to regular Dungeons and Dragons sessions at a local café. I must say it has been a blast.

Normally I only have my own mind and imagination for writing stories. I control all the characters, the setting, and the story. When I read or play a game, it is the opposite; no control over anything. The books are obviously set in stone at publishing and video games offer minor choices or a designated branching point but that is largely the illusion of choice. Tabletop gaming has an in-between that I find most appealing. I control one character, the other players control theirs and the Dungeon Master controls everything else.

I don't know what the other players will do or how they will act. It is a surprise to me. Obviously, being a live game, there are no revisions (as far as I know, DMs aren't supposed to allow mulligans). It is just straight-forward communal story building with no looking back. Beyond the unique experience itself (aside from similar tabletop role playing games, of course) the sessions themselves are unique.

After we completed a scenario, our DM told us that he had run this particular one three times so far, including ours, and our solution to it was unique. The task was to find a certain town that was the HQ for mysterious happenings in the area. Our party staked out a known agent of this town and followed a messenger. We might not have succeeded if one of our members didn't happen to be able to fly. A different group, said our DM, had a different solution. They asked a wizard (who our group met as well) to cast a divination spell on a medallion originating at the town (that our group found as well) and worked out its location based on what that spell revealed. A third group just wanted to visit all of the towns in the area and stumbled across the one relevant to this scenario. Not knowing of its significance, they wanted to get in just because the town guards wouldn't let them in.

In our most recent session, we had a thrilling battle in the course of the current story arc. It started because none of us thought to guard a vital asset. I was seriously scared we were going to lose it and then we'd have to deal with the consequences. No "Game Over - try again" screen. We would have to deal with the consequences of our failure. Related to this, my character failed an acrobatics check and took enough falling damage to fall unconscious. I was one failed death save from rolling a new character because I'm not sure the party could afford to cast Raise Dead. Fortunately, one of them saved me before that happened.

Because of that, I could continue developing this character. I've spent the last week thinking about a particular combo I could do that would help the party as a whole while also playing to my character's background. It uses the character's class skill set in a way that I haven't taken advantage of yet. I'm looking forward to the next session.


Brian Wilkerson is a independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

Answering review request: Winterreise - An Urban Fairy Tale

Daphne Du Bois asked me to read her novel "Winterreise:An urban fairytale ". This is the second book in the The Annwn Cycle . I will examine plot, character, and polish and then assign a grade.

I had previously reviewed another work from this author, "From Fairies and Creatures of the Night, Guard Me" and rated it highly, so I have been looking forward to reading "Winterreise". In fact, the first chapter of the later is one of the stories in the former’s anthology, and this increased my anticipation. You can read its review here.

PLOT

First of all, yes, this is the same "Winterreise" from the composer Franz Scmubert. The protagonist of this story is Penny and she is a music student in college who is both writing a paper on it and also performing it. That’s why she is far too busy for epic quests through the supernatural Hinderlands, but the Erlking has other plans for her.

What follows is, in one view, a fairly standard adventure: heroine ventures into the Unknown World, meets a Mysterious Waif, and becomes emotionally committed to saving her from the dreadful fate imposed on her from uncaring gods and evil cults. However, one of the great things about this book is how different/strange/unusual a story Miss Du Bois can spin from these building blocks. The climax is especially intriguing and compelling in both how it adheres to the tradition of such stories while simultaneously being very different.

It also has a mystery element to it; Penny has to unravel the nature and history of her new friend's curse in order to save her. Additionally, she has to find out the identity of the person behind all this nasty business and how to stop them.

It’s like a double consciousness. On one hand, the world is literally run on genre conventions. Numerous characters will talk about how "x is the way things have always been done" and the importance of stories and lore. Penny refers to this as "Hinderland logic". On the other hand, there is a sense of real life and common sense; ignoring the genre conventions in place of something more practical. The most effective way to get anything done is to keep both in mind.

The story is peppered with little references to old stories like the Norse Sagas and Arthurian Lore, and also later stories like the King in Yellow. There is nothing "contemporary" which I like and feel is a good choice. It will prevent the work from becoming, as we say on Tvtropes "an unintentional period piece". In other words, dated.

It has a great ending; a fulfilling ending but I still want to see more. The conflict is closed but it was such a fun story I wanted to see more of the aftermath.

CHARACTERS

Penny is the protagonist and the story's heroine. I called her an Unfazed Everyman back in the review for "From Fairies" and now I get to see more of her personality. Due to the epic scope of this story, Penny can show the heroic traits that didn't have an opportunity to shine in the more light-hearted fare of the anthology. She is both brave and compassionate. Altogether, you get scenes where she will say something like "I don't care if you're a god, you're not trapping someone in an ice coffin," or "I drink too much coffee for your magic sleeping flowers to affect me". I imagine all of it this is said in a dry, deadpan, tone.

The Erlking is the quest giver here. Penny figured as much and is frustrated that he gave her one without her noticing. I find him a delightful character. He's like a trickster figure with his Fair Folk mentality, manipulations, and cryptic dialogue but he has much more dignity than someone like, say, Loki, who is also in this story. His conversations with Penny are fun to read in this regard. It's hard to tell what his motivations are which makes for a slippery character.

Penny's new friend, whose Identity I will not reveal because it is part of the mystery, is quite the Woobie. It is no surprise Penny felt such a need to help her; she is so lost and lonely and tragic. At the same time, she is not some wall flower that could be replaced with a statue. Her speeches about her oath, her former profession, and her memories are vital to the plot. She also does something awesome at a crucial moment.

There are other characters that I like in this story but to list all of them would make this review too long. Even those with smaller roles and less screentime are memorable.

 POLISH

I found three spelling errors; just three. They shouldn't be there but it's not enough to affect the grade. Otherwise, it looks great.

Trickster Eric Novels gives "Winterreise: An urban fairytale " an A+

This has been a free review request. I received nothing in exchange except a free copy of the book.

Click here for the next book review (not a review request): Identity Wars

Click here for the previous review request: Rebel Trap

Answering Review Request: Unreliable Histories

Rob Gresgson asked me to read his novel "Unreliable Histories". It's an urban fantasy that looks to take place in a fantasy counterpart of the British Isles during the Age of Exploration. I will examine plot, characters and polish and then decide on a grade.

NOTE: this review is about the first edition. I was 1/3 finished with it by the time Mr.Gregson put out the second.  He informed me that the chapter ordering is a little different, Jul has a little more screen time and the opening was rearranged, but in terms of content and story, they are the same.

PLOT

What we have here is two characters investigating a mystery. Myrah and Al encounter a wizard in a big and flashy event who tells them to find a certain object before dying. Mostly because they're bored, they go off on this little scavenger hunt. They travel from place to place learning about this thing they've found and uncover pieces of information relating to alternate histories for their country and their own lives.

What I like the most about this story is its angle about the Commercialization of Adventure. Myrah's uncle is one of the three heads of an empire spanning company that supplies explorers, adventurers and the like. It's called FMS Exploration and it has everything from ships to equipment to crew for its customers. Most of it is just for show because the adventurers are just for show. They're trying to become rich, famous or some other self-serving goal by lying about their boring and profitless adventure. There's a running gag about how they name innocuous and harmless places something intimidating and fearsome like "Light of Dragon's Blood" or some other such silliness in order to spice up their tale.
It's the opposite of the trope No Hero Discount. While the hero sees the merchant as greedy for not cutting him a break when he's trying to save the world, the merchant sees the hero as walking money whose not as special or important as he thinks he is. It's even this sort of merchant that keeps the traps in all those dungeons fresh and ready. HOWEVER, this is all done is good fun (narratively speaking). It's not a dark and gritty sort of angle but a light hearted mocking angle. I find that much more appealing than someone who piles on the tragedy.

About half way through there's a genre shift where Myrath and Al go through a genuinely threatening dungeon that houses a genuinely threatening demon and receive aid from a genuinely heroic adventurer (Myrth, in her jadedness, still thinks he's a scoundrel, despite a smidgen of infatuation). There's still more of the Commercialization of Adventure going on, but I got the sense that the vain glorious adventurers of the start are just the most public and visible; there's a deeper layer going on.

Ending is great. There's closure for the book's conflict and a funny lampshading of the remaining plot threads and how everything is not all neatly tied up. It also works well as a launching pad into the second book.

CHARACTERS

Myrah is the hero of this story and a character I like. She's practical, she's both intelligent and cunning, and she has heroic spirit. She's also jaded from her uncle's "profit above all else" business model, poser explorers and the general misogyny of her society. Third, she has this British wit which I believe is a gift direct from her author.

Al (Alaethar) is her partner and foil. He's this big guy that helps Myrah because he's in love with her. He's routinely Mistaken For Badass because of his size and an innocent scare on his collarbone. At the start, you think he is the one going to be the Ascended Fanboy but then he becomes Myrah's voice of reason as she tries to figure out the Index. It is quite amusing to see Agent Mulder turn into Agent Skully so quickly. The genre shift has quite an effect on him.

Nevigorn is a fun character. During his previous adventure, he found The Truth and gained an Enlightenment Superpower that changed his view of the universe and everyone in it. As a result, he rarely makes any sense to anyone. It's cloud cuckoo lander humor that is at the same time very pertinent to the plot. His Lack of Empathy can come off as Leaning On the Fourth Wall.

Fievelus is Myrah's uncle and one of two villains for this story. He may be the Big Bad or an Unwitting Pawn by the end but he's certainly The Heavy. He's greedy. He's a Corrupt Corporate Executive that has developed a Social Darwin style philosophy to explain how he is not corrupt despite his actions. Myrah tries to keep him out of the loop regarding her adventurer activities as much as possible because she knows that he will push her aside to make as much profit as possible regardless of anything else.

Hahn is a minor character but I wanted to include him but he is a fascinating case. He is every bit the Ideal Hero: brave, charismatic, kind, generous,  defender of the innocent and scourge of oppressors while also very skilled in combat. For this reason Myrah thinks he's a scoundrel because he's known as an outlaw (because of the scourge of oppressors thing) and because she's never met an adventurer that wasn't a selfish glory hound. On the contrary, he spends all his praise on Al, a rookie warrior and a stranger to him. He also speaks in a formal heroic style, which Al and Myrah both find strange but fitting with his character type.

POLISH

It looks good. No spelling or grammar errors. The foot notes have some funny and interesting world building.

Trickster Eric Novels gives "Unreliable Histories" an A+


This is a free review request. I received nothing in exchange for it but a free copy of the book.

Click here for the previous book review (which was not a request): Spice and Wolf Volume 4

Answering Review Request: Seventh Moon

Michael Joy asked me to read his novel "Seventh Moon". It's a dystopian science fiction thing staring a group of super soldiers that rebel against their corrupt creators by becoming super heroic clergy. I will examine Plot, Characters and Polish before assigning a grade.

PLOT

The story starts off exciting with Seventh Moon sending a group of super soldiers to a supposed base of terrorists that stole Seventh Moon's technology. There's a description of the soldiers showcasing Mr.Joy's love of tropes, followed by what we call on Tvtropes a Curb Stomp Battle. What I like about this sort of beginning is that it is set up to be a "Lawful Super Team fighting Chaotic criminals" thing and then does a pirouette into a "Defector From Decadence rebellion" thing. All the soldiers are set up as equals and then two of them break away as heroes, which colors the rest as villains.

What follows is a seamless genre shift from science fiction government black ops to fantasy martial arts philosophy. Why is it seamless? Because the Mentor Archetype for the fantasy was the combat instructor for the science fiction. He was hired by Seventh Moon but has since retired. He remarks that Seventh Moon has no taste for the spiritual component of his martial arts style and so he's basically completing their training. This becomes a key difference as the trio of heroes fight their counterparts as well as a long running plot thread. Over all, there is a impressive mix of Science Fiction and Fantasy tropes all the way to the end of the story. Esper or full contact mage? It doesn't matter. Either way, it's cool.

I like the flow of the plot. It follows a sound progression of events as the heroes try to unravel Seventh Moon's control. It's not just beating the bad guys but addressing the underlying problems caused by them. For instance, freeing a hydroelectric dam from their control in order to restore power to the country housing it.

There are two problems with the plot. Add some Alternate Character Interpretation, and there's only one. It is the three year gap between the first scene and the Evil Counterparts attacking the Shinryuu shrine. Given that Seventh Moon knows about this place and it's close by the village they destroyed and there's nothing keeping them away, I don't understand why the attack didn't come for three years. I don't know the reason for it, and because this time of peace allows the heroes to develop their esper powers, it is significant.

The ending is good. It has a climatic battle and a resolution of the book's conflict. There are a few threads dangling but there are more of a "connecting thread" to a possible sequel rather than loose ends from laziness or a Goading Cliffhanger.

CHARACTERS

There are a lot of characters on both the heroic and villainous side and all of them receive sufficient development. The main characters get the most, of course, but even the sub-bosses (so to speak) have traits that make them stand out.

Kichiku the Gentle Giant and who takes on Big Brother responsibilities for Douji.

Hidariude has the blades and minor Leroy Jenkins/Hotblooded traits.

Kiesi is remarkable for being a sex slave instead of a super soldier, and also has more a Never Be A Victim Again mentality instead of The Atoner.

On the villainous side, there's this guy named Kodama. He's a minor bad guy who only has one scene and doesn't live beyond a couple chapters.  Yet he's my personal favorite of the trio's enemies New Wave Elite's soldiers. It may be his Smug Super attitude, his favoring the No Sell tactic, his Forest Hive Mind powers,  or perhaps the caliber of the fight itself, but whatever it is,  I enjoyed his fight the most.

POLISH

This is the area where the story loses the most points.
Spelling is good but grammar has flaws. It's minor because some 80 percent of them are the same thing; using a comma where a semi colon would be appropriate.
Also, some of the language is immature. What I mean by this is that it doesn't flow as well as it could. Again, this a minor thing because most of the story is not like this.


Trickster Eric Novels gives "Seventh Moon" a B+

Click here for the next book review (which was not a request): Sword Art Online: Aincrad 1

Click here for the previous book review (which was not a request): How To Practice

Answering review request: "God's Forge"

Patrick Dorsey asked me to read his novel, "God's Forge". It is a dramatization of the night that the Knight Templar headquarters was sacked and the order dissolved. I will examine plot, characters and polish and then assign a grade.

PLOT

The plot's conflict is basically for a group of Templar knights to escape the order's headquarters in Paris when it is sieged by King Philip IV. However, there are other threads: Andre carrying a special package, numerous scenes with the king alone, the string of humiliations suffered by the Templar grandmaster, and a whore's own machinations. Interwoven with all of these is cutbacks to the Fall of Acre to the Saracens. While all of these are interesting enough on their own, mixing them all together is a pain. The main plotline is bloated and bogged down with the minor ones, and the minor ones feel underdeveloped.

This is a dramatization of the historical event in place of an original story. Anyone that knows the basic story of the Templars (Powerful soldiers of God, sacked in one knight, and may or may not have found the Holy Grail and disappeared to somewhere else) will not be surprised by the events taking place. It is an interesting dramatization (not as dry as a straight-forward fact-based historical record, for instance) but a dramatization it remains. I would have liked to focus on the events afterwards.

There are too many coincidences for me to ignore. A couple is realistic because real life is full of chances and accidents. In here there are too many: 1.) A courier with a special something just happens to arrive at the Templar Grand Temple within minutes of King Philip's siege, 2.) One knight plans to leave the temple as soon as his horse gives birth, which happens also within a few minutes of leaving the temple. 3.) A squire drops armor in the small time frame between the start of the siege and before the arrests begin, which is why William has any allies at all. 4.) Out of all of Paris, the Templars stumble upon a blacksmith abusing a whore who leads them to a tavern where 5.) A royal guard captain just happens to share the same room as them. 6.) After avoiding the main force of this royal captain, the Templars stumble into three stranglers who were taking a piss. 7.) When Listette is looking for the Templars, she stumbles into three soldiers she's on bad terms with; just these three out of the entire company that were maimed but not killed by the Templars.

There's an abandoned plot thread about mid-book. The Templars realize the moral and social rot of the city they're posted in and decide to save souls in Christendom before going back to the Holy Land. They determine this is why The Lord allowed them to lose the Holy Land to the Muslims; they need to "get their own house in order first". It's not directly stated if their later actions are tied to this, but given the fact that they are God's Army, it is not out of the question.

Finally, I don't understand why the grandmaster gave up without a fight. If the goal was to distract King Philip then certainly a fight in the front gate would hold attention there and pull forces away from the back. If nothing else, the king wouldn't be thinking about "rounding up fugitives" and instead about "take the citadel!"

The ending is fantastic. As you can tell by now I have problems with the body of the plot but the ending is fantastic. It is a falling action kind of tone, it has closure, and it complies with the historical record while at the same time, not quite as dismal.

CHARACTERS

Characters are diverse. The Templar fugitives are like a microcosms of the Templars themselves. There is William the veteran Knight in Shinning Armor, Andre the naïve and noble newbie, Etienne whose just a unforged squire, Odo the Cool Old Guy, the contrasting Francesco with his age and dogmatism and Armande who is here just to wash away his excommunication. You have the full range of experience, idealism/cynicism, and the belief what it means to be part of God's army.

Lisette is a complicated character. She's a street walker and proud of it, but only because her family disowned her for being raped. She tells William she had no choice in terms of profession but when he mentions becoming a nun, she says such a thing wouldn't suit her. Whether or not she knew of this specific nunnery order before or after she became a whore would mean the difference between hypocrisy and a "too far gone" mentality.

There's also an interesting split between the villains. King Philip doesn't appear to have anything against the Templars pre say. He just needs to make "his beloved France solvent again" and the Templars appear to be his best shot. Imbert the head inquisitor, genuinely believes that he is an instrument of God in weeding out corruption and that the Templars, as an organization, are corrupt. He is willing to make exceptions for individual members, provided they confess and seek reconciliation, of course. Lower down the chain, you have officers motivated by a variety of selfish things: money, lust, success, recognition etc.

As you can see, I am much more favorable to the character than I am to the plot itself. The individual scenes are better: well written, character driven, etc. The problem is the larger picture.

POLISH

I spotted a couple spelling errors. It's nothing major.
If there's a reason for the inclusion of the Acre plotline, after the action prologue, I don't see it.
There's some good history stuff in here and a glossary of references so that's nice for history buffs like me.

Trickster Eric Novels gives "God's Forge" a C+

Click here for the next book review (which was not a request): Journey to the West
Click here for the previous review (Also not a request): Young Miss Holmes casebook 1-2

It's Not about the "If" it's about the "How"

Will the brave knight slay the dragon and rescue the princess? The answer to that is a single word: Yes or No.
How will the brave knight slay the dragon and rescue the princess? Now that is an interesting question. I could write a story based on that.

This post is about the importance of the "HOW" in a story, at the expense of the "IF". By this I mean, that whether or not the protagonist succeeds in whatever endeavor they set themselves to or what conflict they have to overcome is not as important as the conflict itself. It's like that old saying, "It's the Journey that counts."

"Happily ever after" is as boring as "rocks fall, everyone dies". Furthermore, they are short, and they are endings. While necessary to complete a story, they are not what the writer should be focusing on and/or stressing out about. I don't know anyone who picks up a book simply to see the ending and skipping to the ending is likely to be confusing because you won't have the frame of reference to make sense of it. As an example, I will use the anime BACCANO!. The first episode spoils every single plot point of the main storyline in the first few minutes, but unless you know who these characters are and what's going on, it won't mean anything to you. The appeal of the series is watching the shenanigans that lead up to that point.

Readers are savvy. On Tvtropes, we have numerous tropes describing this predictability: The Good Guys Always Win, Underdogs Never Lose, Third Act Misunderstanding and Break Up Make Up Scenario. It takes a great deal of skill to legitimately make readers think that the secret agent will perish in the death trap, or the hero will be killed by his arch enemy, etc. Whether the tension of your story is based on whether or not the Good Guys triumph, or the underdogs win the big game, or the two leads hooking up romantically, focus on the struggle to get to that point.

For another example, I will use the light novel and anime "No Game No Life". The two leads are a brother-sister team calling themselves "Blank". They begin the show as a gamer of god-like skill and their motto is "Blank Never Loses". The appeal of the show is not in the tension of whether or not they will win or lose (though there is plenty of that) but rather it's in the cleverness of their strategy and the frequent humor (also, the animation is gorgeous). If the point was simply for them to win, it would get old quickly. Thus, there is more to it.

Another example is the manga and anime "Hellsing". Here I'm specifically referring to "Hellsing Ultimate". The "hero" of this story is the brutal vampire Alucard, who works for the Hellsing Organization in killing supernatural threats like ghouls and other vampires. There is no tension in Alcuard's fights at all. He outclasses all of his opponents so much that the question is not "will he win?" but "how bloody and creative will he make his opponent's death?" He has to be absent for most of the series' climax because otherwise he would quickly resolve it. Thus, you get to the see the other, less powerful, heroes being awesome.

One final example from one of my favorite fan fiction authors will prove my point. "Brave New World" by Ri2 has the most generic of premises: A couple of heroes journey to find mystical trinkets to stop an evil organization from destroying the world. What makes this fiction special is what happens within the context of that premise. There are astounding twists and turns, uproarious funny events, and a tremendous amount of original world building. None of this has more than tangential relation to the premise. Most of the time, the generic premise is there for Leo, resident Genre Savvy nerd, to make fun of for being generic. At times it feels like an excuse plot.   
 
When writing your stories, I encourage you to keep these examples in mind.

 Brian Wilkerson is an independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor's degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

His fantasy series, Journey to Chaos, is currently available on Amazon as an ebook or paperback.

Old and New RoboCop

Two weeks ago I watched Robocop 2014 (my review for it can be found at this link) and last weekend I watched Robocop 1987. Many reviews of the former are written from the perspective of the latter, and so I thought it would be fun to do the opposite. There will be plot, characters and polish before I assign a grade.

PLOT

I found the 2014 plot to be tighter than the 1987 plot.
In the 1987 version, you have many plot threads: (1.) There's the Old Man wanting to make Delta City on the decayed ruins of Old Detroit, (2.) Rick Jones promoting his 209 series, (3.) the rivalry with Bob Martin's RoboCop program, (4.) the hedonism of Boddicker's gang, and 5.) the non-sequitor news segments all in addition to (6.)  RoboCop's war on crime and (7.) struggle to regain his humanity. All together, it makes Robo feel overshadowed simply because there is so little time focused on him. I like it, make no mistake about that, but the 2014 plot line is more streamlined and so it feels more put-together.
In the 2014 plotline, everything relates back to Omni Corp's desire to sell robots in America. (1.) The Novak Element is about making robots look good and humans look bad, (2.) Robocop's war on crime is about proving robot effectiveness and (3.) his balance between human and robot is a deliberate PR move to warm people to the idea of robot law enforcers. (4.) Antoine Vallon's gun smuggling business is used to demonstrate the "Human Cops Are Corruptible" angle vs. the "Soulless Robot" angle.

There's satire and political commentary on both sides but, as with the plot, the 2014 version is more focused. It takes the mocking stick and pokes it directly into corporate political lobbying. Robocop is exclusively used by Omni Corp as a Public Relations stunt in order to sway public opinion and enable them to sell their purely robotic law enforcers on American soil. The point is selling these robots to fight crime in America, instead of the two step "clear out crime and then start an urban renewal project" with its corporate rivalry and backstabbing.

The 1987 version has many more targets. There's consumerism from all those commercials, criticisms of those that enjoy ultra violence (the gang's torturing of Murphy and blowing up cars while gleefully laughing), and corporate corruption shown best in the "bitches, leave" scene which involves snorting cocaine from a prostitute's breasts and culminates with Boddicker blowing him up because Rick Jones paid him too.

The criminals (corporate and otherwise) are also focused on different targets and both times they create a parallel.

Back in 1987, Robocop crushed a cocaine factory in pursuit of his killers and he was originally killed chasing bank robbers. The corporate side of things had Bob Martin snorting cocaine and Dick Jones planning to sell a white elephant that needed lots of service and spare parts, i.e. robbery.  ("Who cares if it works!?")

In 2014, the focus is on selling weapons. Alex is blown up because of a sting he did on illegal guns that he traced to the evidence bin in the police department, pointing to corrupt cops. On the corporate side, we have Omni Corps (possibly) bankrolling the Novak Element to give them good press and twisting the arms of politicians to influence legislation. Both sides talk about their need to push "product" and their product is weaponry.
It's worth noting that the cops in 1987 version were only "corrupt" in so far as they were owned and operated by OCP.

In both films there's the issue of robot replacements for police officers. In the 1987 version, the police are afraid of that happening and yet they go on strike, which causes anarchy. In the 2014 version, this is explicitly what Omni Corp plans to do but with pure robots instead of more Robocops. There's no talk of a strike, but perhaps that's because the police aren't privatized in the remake and "public servants can't go on strike".

Considering the twenty seven year difference between the two, there's a case of Technology Marches On between them.
In the 1987 version, you have wonder how Robo Cop arrives Just In Time to stop crimes like the convenience store robbery, the attempted rape in the alley, and then the robbery at the Gas Station. It's too quick for a police radio. The 2014 version resolves this problem of narrative necessity by giving him surveillance feeds. There are cameras all over the city and so RoboCop can monitor large sections of it at once and cycle through all of them quickly.

On the other hand, this means he doesn't need the data spike which means he doesn't get the data spike. After watching the 1987 version, I was disappointed that I didn't see it in the 2014 version. In addition to accessing data, it can stab people like a dagger and flip the bird to other people. It's a multi-purpose tool.

I believe these differences are based in the different times they were produced in. When the first one came out, I wasn't old enough to talk so I can't speak for that era. However, the 2014 version's talk of the War on Terror, laws governing the use of unmanned drones, and mouth piece news programs, is much more familiar to me than Detroit's crime problem, privatized police forces, and abandoned steel mills.
Also, a story about a robotic policeman is naturally going to make more sense in the era that has more advanced technology.

On a minor note, there's in-universe reasons for his differing levels of robotization. It's minor because it's a small detail but I've seen it brought up in reviews and Tvtropes so I'll address it here.

In the 1987 version, the scientists were excited about saving his left arm but Bob Martin, who wants a robot, insists on removing it for a full body change. In the 2014 version, Peter Sellers insists on saving the right hand because he wants a human effect for the PR Boost. In a deleted scene, he says, "you can tell a lot about a guy by his handshake." This fits the tone of both movies: impersonal product vs. appealing PR spectacle.


 CHARACTERS

In 1987, Murphy has the TJ Lazar gun twirling trick. It may have come from a children's show but it is a distinct and more importantly "humanizing" thing. It was something only he did and he did it because his son thought it was cool and "I get a kick out of it." It remains after his mind was wiped and connects him to his memories as a family man.

Murphy 2014 has no such trait, but he compensates by spending more of the movie as himself instead of as RoboCop. Indeed, he is only called "Robocop" in a "Good Cop Bad Cop" joke by Lewis. Thus, we see more of him as he was/is and how his persona responds to increasing levels of robotization.

The portrayal of Murphy's family are polar opposite.
In the 1987 version, we only see them in memories. They've long since moved away. This is a great sense of loss for Murphy personally and means he has fewer people to interact with. More of his identity is gone because they are gone.
In the 2014 version, they are a more substantial presence. It is his wife that signs the consent form that transforms him and she helps him make the initial adjustment.  It is also his wife that triggers his "reboot" so to speak after his dopamine levels are artificially lowered.

In the 1987 version, the people who transform Alex Murphy into Robocop are background characters. They have no names and disappear once Robocop begins investigating his own murder. We learn nothing about them. The corporate guys take center stage.
In the 2014 version, the transformation team is condensed into Dr. Dennett Norton and his assistant. Dr. Norton is one of the main characters because he is the one programing Robocop and he is the lynchpin between Robots-Fighting-For-Justice and Corporate-Bottom-Line.  I place him in the top three with Peter Sellers and Robocop himself.


 POLISH

There's no doubt that 2014 version looks better. Even with nostalgia goggles, it is impossible to state that its special effects are inferior to 1987 version.  The 209 in the original looked silly but they look sinister in 2014.  The battles between them and Robocop are thrilling as opposed to funny.

Personally, I prefer the 2014 version but they're both great movies.  B+

Answering Review Request: "Within Ruin"

Darrel Drake asked me to read his dark fantasy "Within Ruin". It starts off as this king searching for a cure to a plague with his amnesiac queen and a couple servants, and then it becomes much different. I will examine plot, characters and polish before assigning a grade.

WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD! WARNING!

There is a major Reveal around the halfway point that radically changes the plot and colors everything that came before hand. It would be difficult to write this review without spoiling the story's true nature. Also, numerous factors came together to make the final grade complicated and so I will go into detail in order to make my feelings understood. Thus, everything below PLOT could be a spoiler. If you don't want anything spoiled, skip to the POLISH section.

PLOT

My opinion on the plot is mixed and complicated.

Battles are good. Here the elaborate style of writing adds to the sense of epic scale. It's not some vulgar bar brawl, but a poetic dungeon duel. There's one battle in the second half of the book that I particularly like. It is Virgil and Descarta vs Bromymr the earthfolk king.
 
This battle is a crystallization of one of the essences of fantasy. You have a sword and sorcery battle couple fighting this giant rock golem. There's this sense of teamwork, trust, confidence, and the writing builds up well to the climatic clash. I could see it animated in my mind as it happened.
 
While many emotional/romantic etc. scenes are over-wrought and melodramatic, there are also scenes that are genuinely touching.
-Descarta returns to Virgil's Mad Scientist lair after five years of traveling. Both of them seek forgiveness from the other for their own reasons but at the start, Virgil thinks he's talking to a hallucination. It's a lovingly broken image. The reconciliation afterward ultimately becomes sweet after these two work out their self-worth and guilt issues.
-Hafstagg going Over Protective Dad for Descarta because he spent five years raising her after she left Virgil. It's a sweet scene because it hints at what happens in the skipped over five years and also because they had a relationship that didn't have any kind of obsession or deception, i.e. healthier than any other relationship in this story.
 
There's also a lot of funny stuff. Basically, any scene with the elf twins is likely to be funny because they are funny characters. My favorite is their ditty about brioche (a french pastry). As I write this review, it's stuck in my head.
 
As for the plot itself, I have to go into more detail. First of, I like plots that can grow beyond their premise. If nothing more happened than what the blurb contained, then the story would be dull and predictable. Those are not adjectives I'd use to describe this story.
 
The plot comes in two parts, technically two and a minor.

1. Journey for the cure
1.5 Reconciliation between Descarta and Virgil
2. Rescue the Elf Twins
 
When the plot opens, King Virgil of Elusia is going on a journey for a cure for a plague that's ravaging his kingdom. He takes with him his amnesiac queen, Descarta, because if two monarchs ask for help  then the request will be given more weight. His human steward and his twin elfin wards go as well. They travel across the countryside, fight assassins, and encounter supernatural creatures.
 
This is the start of a fantasy novel. I don't want to say "typical" or "bog standard" because those have negative associations in literary circles. The opening plot for this book is not original but neither is the coming shift. At most, it's a perspective flip. You see, Virgil is not looking for a cure to the plague in his kingdom. This is because he created both it and the plague itself.
 
An evil overlord causes great suffering for his people and stirs wars with his neighbors in order to gather supernatural components so he can resurrect his dearly departed loved one. I'm sure some of you reading this have heard of a similar plot before. In other cases, the purpose of this is make the villain sympathetic and give him a reason for the evil he has done. The heroes stop him regardless but acknowledge that he was a good man driven to insanity by his love. In this case, the evil overlord is the protagonist and there are no heroes to stop him. Thus, he succeeds.
 
Before I go further, I must provide context
 Virgil is five centuries old and used to go by the name of Kalthused. His queen, Ankaa, died during a war and he spent those five centuries working on a plan to bring her back. To do this he needed to create an artificial body and then plug her soul into it. This second goal requires a great deal of souls so he spread a magic soul catching web over the Continent and caused up all manner of trouble to increase the death rate and drive souls into the web. Three years before he had enough souls, one of his artificial bodies came to life. This happened without his action and against his wishes.
 
This is where my plot problems start. I'll begin with the magic system.

1. It's called "weaving" because it involves manipulating The Fabric, which is something between a Background Magic Field and an Afterlife. The natural elements (fire, water, earth, wind etc.) are also "weaved" but more than that, there's magical sedation. It's interesting and all, but I don't understand how it works. Because of this, I have a dim view of Virgil's soul catching plan.

Once he has enough souls, he can either bind Ankaa's soul (called a "ribbon" in this verse) into a living vessel or he can tie Descarta's inexplicable ribbon to his own to keep her from dying. I don't understand why he needs five centuries of turmoil to gather enough components to do either of these things. Do the souls form a rope or anchor? If this is the case, won't he need to continue doing maintenance on this rope? I can't imagine the souls appreciate being weaved into such a form. I get the feeling that this method was created by the author for Rule of Drama and Love Hurts. This leads to my second problem.

2. Ankaa, the original motivation, is sacrificed for Descarta. This makes no sense to me. Surely he can find some other soul for this purpose. Even if he no longer loved her, sacrificing her is too big a leap. It breaks my willing suspension of disbelief.

3. The relationship between Virgil and Descarta and how it doesn't fit within the timeline of events

According to Virgil and his notes, he raised Descarta for a year and at that point he decided to use his harvest to preserve her life instead of reviving Ankaa. Then he erased her memory and told her she was his wife. This persisted for two years in which he was cold and aloof to her, and forbid her from leaving the castle without explaining why. There are a lot of things wrong with this picture.

First of all-Wife Husbandry. Why say they were married? Since he technically sired her in a test tube, their relationship is closer to father-daughter. She's constantly referred to as "the girl" in narration, not "the woman" so I assume she's significantly younger than him. The narration also states how small she is. "Amensiac daughter" would have been easier to swallow for both reader and Descarta herself, and it would have the added bonus of placating the jealous elf twins.

Second, there's the fact that Descarta exists in the first place. Virgil wasn't trying to create sapient life, but a vessel for Ankaa to live in. None of the other homunculus (of which there were many) lived longer than a day, much less develop sapience on their own. It feels like some deity (or author) threw a Spanner in the Works to make Virgil's life more complicated and tragic than it already was.

Third, what's with the cold shoulder? Surely being nice to her would be more pleasant for all involved. He has already decided that he is going to preserver her life, so there is no excuse about not getting attached to her.  More importantly, being nice would aid his plan by making Descarta more trusting of him and more willing to do what he said. The only explanation I can think of is he wanted Descarta to hate him as some kind of masochistic thing or guilt over what he's doing for her sake.
 
The second half of the story is more traditional: a straight forward rescue arc. Descarta has grown stronger both physically and mentally, and Virgil can no longer hide things from her so her relationship with Virgil is less like that of a man and his pet. It still has those vibes, but it's a consensual thing now (sort of, it's complicated).

On the other hand, this second half of the story is so far removed from the original premise that it feels like a sequel. It's a "Baddies strike back" sort of thing because it's about antagonistic characters enacting vengeance.

Also, it's sparse on details in a way that is unlike the first part.
The first part had this description of the earthenfolk capital; lots of detail and lots of world building. The second part didn't have anything like that. For instance, the elfin city Vanaheim doesn't get the same treatment. What is there is a short criticism of how mercantile they have become.
I get the sense that Virgil is teleporting them from place to place because of the way the scene transitions are handled. They're in one place, wavy line scene breaker, and then they're in some other place.
The meat of this second story is  the roller coaster of emotions of the main couple. There's lots of stuff about how Virgil and Decarta feel about each other. It gets boring and stagnant, however, I like the progress from the first story. It is more of a happy, if dysfunctional, couple. Also, petnames like "dear despot" are too cute to hate.

 
 
I like the ending. It has this element of closure that I think is essential for any novel (especially ones in a series). It also has this low grade happiness mixed with sorrow. It's odd; a water and oil sort of thing. If you look at it one way, it's a traditional happy ending complete with a child for the main couple. If you look at it another way, it's a funky living situation for a bunch of strangers.

As for "challenging morality", nothing so presumptuous is done here. The idea of unconditional and infinite forgiveness is an old one (at least two thousand years old). Endless devotion is similar. Go to Tvtropes and you'll find a spectrum of anti-villain behavior. Virgil would fall into the "Always Save the Girl" camp.


CHARACTERS
There are no heroes here, just by-standers and varying degrees of villains. Virgil has his Evil Plan and everyone else is either helping or ignorant of it.

Virgil is an Evil Overlord because Love Makes You Evil. Tvtropes would call him a Villain Protagonist. His nature as such is only hinted at until the big reveal around mid-book. He's a heavily self-deprecating character but his guilt never stops him from fulfilling his obsessions. In the second story arc, where he takes up an unarguably heroic goal, he still thinks of himself as a villain who could never do anything remotely good.   

Amil and Merril are elf twins driven insane by a horrifically bad life. It involves their parents declaring them taboo and a presumably long time as sex slaves. Then Virgil uses them as research material. Somehow they make a transition from that to his queens and then to his wards. Thus, another strange lover/child relationship. They're basically his tykebombs.

Descarta is a homunculus created to be a vessel. She's the Load for the first half and then a Lady of War after a five year time skip. I would have liked to see those five years in the second half of the book instead of the elf kidnapping thing.  Afterward, she's similar to the twins in that she's Virgil obsessed. When the three of them share a body in the end, the only difference is her embarrassment at the things they do with her body, and even then Virgil says they can't do anything that she would be dead set against.

Josiah is a charming bard who seems like a nice guy. He's truly more like a creepy stalker with date rape drugs. Violah convinces him to help her assassinate Virgil by promising him the elf twins. He keeps them locked up and sedated in the dungeon.

Violah herself is deceptive. She's sympathetic early on because Virgil scares both the shit and the modesty out of her. Later on, she considers killing her subordinates because Virgil told them an embarrassing story about her. The only reason she's there at all is petty revenge and a misguided attempt to please her new king.
After six years, she decides Virgil's a security risk? This guy was the supreme weaver! He killed two mages of her standing without effort or remorse. She had a great plan, but it was a tremendous risk for little reward.

Hazael is the mildest here. He's the rightful king of Elusia.  After he does his part in the Evil Plan then Virgil will give the country to him. He is a trustworthy and efficient partner in the meantime, and when their deal is closed, he does not consider Virgil a threat to his position. By all indications he's does a splendid job as king.

The one exception is Hafstagg, at least after he mellowed raising Descarta. He has no part in any of this nastiness and becomes father-like to Descarta, and he is the sort of father figure that does not lust after his surrogate daughter. 

POLISH

This story is heavy with the Purple Prose. It's hard to find one sentence without hearing about "glowing blue cauldrons" i.e. eyes,  "rouge flesh" i.e. blush or "free hanging hazelnut curtains" i.e. hair.
It makes the story confusing. I'm an author myself, and an English major besides, and I regularly had to look up words. For instance, "Riposte" is used whenever someone makes an "answer", a "comeback" or a "wisecrack". That happens a lot.
It sounds pretentious. You do not prove your "mastery" of a language by using flowery sentences or obscure words. Instead you prove that you're more interested in showing off your vocabulary than being understood.
It makes the book longer. The second edition has less purple prose and is about twenty pages shorter than the first edition. There may have been other changes but I was only told about the reduction of Purple Prose.

It's tolerable if only the characters use it, because it can add to characterization or fit into a setting. However, when Virgil goes on a paragraph long gush about Descarta's beauty, it gets annoying. When the narration uses it, you get the above problems.

At least there aren't any spelling or grammar problems.

Trickster Eric Novels gives "Within Ruin" a C ± (I both like and dislike this story. It's complicated.)

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