Sassy Saturday: Brave the Orderly Reality Vice

Sassy Saturday!  Every week will be an excerpt from one of my novels showcasing a kick-butt heroine. If you want read about the original blog hop the link is here.

The previous Sassy Saturday post can be read here: Arin's Defiance

The context for this post:  Annala has joined a raiding party to free slaves from Latrot. Unfortunately, she has to pass through a region infested with spirits who want to kill her boyfriend.
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They marched the remaining miles to the Orderly Reality Vice. Then suddenly, they were inside it and the world was a mass of grey mist. Just as suddenly, they were not and the sky was clear. Behind the wedge, Annala explained to Eric that the chaotic nature of the Orderly Reality Vice made it vary in size.

“This is why shipping has decreased in the region,” she said. “Many regard it as too dangerous these days. We should be out of the fluctuation zone in about ten minutes.”

Whether or not she was correct was difficult to determine. Their watches no longer worked properly. Counting off the seconds didn’t work either. Every barrage of soul mist brought with it the wailing and confusion of the countless consciousness within them. They shouted words, numbers, and gibberish that made them lose count.

Eventually, one of the barrages didn’t recede. Here, it was neither cold nor hot nor any earthly temperature in between. Here, there was neither sky nor ground because the Orderly Reality Vice ripped apart such distinctions.

“DOWN!”

Annala tackled Eric to the ground just as something wraithlike soared overhead. Beyond the girl’s veil, Eric could see piranha teeth but nothing attached to them. Perrault barked at more such forms from on top of Kallen. Only when the threat passed did she allow Kallen to stand. Annala pulled Eric to his feet and grabbed his chin with her other hand.

“No float spells, grip my hand, don’t stop moving forward; got it?”

Eric grinned. “Yes, ma’am.”

She led him forward by the hand while her familiar acted as Kallen’s blind-seeing-eye dog. The four of them walked in the shelter of the swan formation of Sister Sagart and the Ordercrafter Hunters. As strange and dangerous as the area was to the four, it was worse for the forwards. More than once, Meza had to assert his authority over the younger ones in his team as their sanity ran thin and their wills faltered in the face of the enemy.

Salamanders flew in erratic circles. Undines screeched and sobbed. Gnomes did senseless dances. Sylphs tore themselves apart only to reform again. Ghostly apparitions flew around them, spreading their despair like miasma. The sight of Kallen or Eric enraged all of them and they attacked without warning.

“New body!” The words echoed in the mist. “Live again! New body! LIVE AGAIN!”

“Stay away!” Annala deflected the specter. “I won’t let you hurt him!”

“World breaker!” the spirit mist boomed. “Chaos maker!”

“Where am I?” wailed one voice. “Lady Life said I was to reincarnate. Said it was somewhere nice...where am I?”

“Get me out of here!” screamed another voice. “It hurts! YOUR FAULT YOUR FAULT! YOURFAULTYOURFAULT!”

“KAAAAAAAAA!”

One bolt from Annala’s Deathkiller bow drove them all back. It plunged deep into the cloud and released chaotic waves that burned their essence. It dissolved those that didn’t move fast enough. Perrault pounced on the ones advancing from the rear and shredded them with her teeth. The raiding party advanced, but where to they couldn’t be sure.

A crowd of spirits pressed together into an astral oversoul and, as if from a cannon, propelled itself past the Ordercrafter Hunters. It dodged Sagart and drove straight toward the demons. Annala stepped between them to intercept. It pushed her back and she dug her heels in, but the ground shifted and swept her off her feet. The composite monster rushed unhindered towards Eric and Kallen with its ghostly maw wide.

“Perrault! Go!”

The wolf was a golden-brown blur as it plowed through its target. The astral oversoul wailed and the sound rang in the raiders’ own souls.

“Not again! Not again! Not again! Not again!”

Chaotic residue from Perrault’s attack rushed outwards. Suddenly, the mists disappeared and were replaced by a world of fire, ash, and dust. Here, a duplicate of the astral oversoul battled Priestess.

It lashed out with its limbs and Priestess avoided with nimble leaps. She drew an arrow, shook it, and it became a lance. Then she plunged into the astral oversoul. It wailed as it was torn apart by chaotic energy.

Then a flash of darkness appeared on a cliff behind Priestess and a grim reaper emerged. It swooped down with its scythe cocked, and it was tackled by a golden-brown wolf.

This wolf bit its arm, so it transferred its scythe to the other and pointed at the astral oversoul. Black energy coursed through it and it rose again. It writhed in horrible pain until Priestess struck it down a second time.

“Hold him in place! I can’t have any distractions!”

Priestess recited chaotic prayers until the astral oversoul decompiled and drifted apart. Shrinking the lance back into an arrow, she put it away and pulled out a bag. She gathered the spirits into it and then the reaper sliced it in half.

“You can’t stop entropy!”

“Of course I can! I’m Maxwell’s Demon!”

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Transcending Limitations, and the rest of the Journey to Chaos series, is available for purchase at Amazon as an ebook. The series is also available in Kindle Unlimited. The paperback format is available at Amazon and also at Createspace.

To learn more about the heroines of Journey to Chaos, visit the Tvtropes character sheet.

Brian Wilkerson is a independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

Sassy Saturday: the Defiance of Arin

Sassy Saturday!  Every week will be an excerpt from one of my novels showcasing a kick-butt heroine. If you want read about the original blog hop the link is here.

The previous Sassy Saturday post can be read here: Priestess at Work

The context for this post: Annala reenacts the heroics of her ancestral mother, Arin, during a festival's play.

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Smoke rose again to conceal the muses. Another wind spell blew it away, but not all of it disappeared. One area of the stage remained obscured and the sound of rushing water (from a backstage faucet) could be heard. Outside the smoke was a pool of water surrounded by stones, a patch of grass, and a crowd. These extras used cosmetics to look human.

“Muags is a mighty warrior, but so is everyone here,” Annala said. “No one is born strong; strength must be developed through work and dedication. Thus the power of chaos can be wielded by anyone.”

She raised her hand and this cued the SFX department. Typically, this sort of thing would be done by the actress herself, but in Annala’s case, it had to be someone else. This elf conjured a lightball and sent it to Annala’s outstretched palm. The actress took aim and the SFX mage fired it at a rock, which blew up.

“I shall teach thee and thou shalt ascend to the first level of chaotic enlightenment.”

“Then shall Muags be smote?” one villager asked.

“No mortal can withstand the power of chaos unless they themselves wield this power for the source of all power is Lady Chaos. If you make contact with her essence and learn to use it, then nothing in all of Creation will stop you.”

“You’re not speaking old-timey enough,” a second villager said.

“What?” Annala said.

The first villager smacked the second one.

“Verily the wisdom of chaos has altered the patterns of thy speech,” this villager said, “and thus it is that—”

A scream cut him off.

Backstage, three elves clanged swords together and then a trio of the village’s soldiers back-pedaled, fighting two soldiers each. Their swords were enchanted to create sparks and “clang” when they struck each other, and in this way, they struggled all the way back to the pool. All three fell dead at Annala’s feet. In a fury, she stood up and shouted, “Curse you!”

More SFX mages created a screen of light bolts and fired them upon the enemy soldiers. They all pratfell to their deaths. Then Annala knelt at the three allied soldiers and the SFX mages created a light show to signify resurrection. They rose to their knees and said, “Thank ye, lady priestess, for thy mercy and compassion.”

“Tis nothing at all. Return to your homes and your families.”

They did, and as soon as they were gone, five members of the crowd jumped Annala. Pinning her to the ground, they stuffed her mouth with a rag and bound her hands. Typically, they would also attach a fake slave collar, but in this case, the fox fur muffler was removed.

“Thou art a fine jewel, lady priestess,” said a sixth villager. “Lord Muags shall reward our service in adding thee to his collection.”

 Eric dashed on stage and ran this one through. Actually, he slipped his sword in between the actor’s chest and arms, but the guy fell limp all the same. Then he fell on the other five.

“Snakes!” he declared. “Infiltrators!”

Three of them engaged him while the other two pulled Annala off stage. Though he succeeded in slaying all three, his precious maiden was gone. The warrior fell to his knees and howled his despair. The smoke of the pool rushed forwards and consumed the stage.

“Release me, brute!” Annala screamed. “Thou shall not deny me liberty!”

The smoke parted and Muags’ throne room reappeared. The tyrant watched smugly as his latest prize was dragged in. Though she wore the tiara of a queen, she also wore the fetters of a slave. Her dress looked the same as before, but it was actually a “battle damaged” version.

“In good conscience, I cannot do that.” Ralm stood up leisurely and circled her with the air of an appraiser. “Delicate flowers belong in gardens where they can be protected and admired. Weeds are in the wild and these vile things stop at nothing in choking beauty.”

Annala’s ex-boyfriend cupped her cheek and ran his fingers from the slave collar on her neck to her bare shoulder, then back again.

“Your beautiful snowy skin is already tarnished with the dust and sun of travel; an ugly shade of brown. It would harm my sense of honor to allow a princess like yourself to live like a vagabond. If I picked you, then someone else might. Someone cruel and,” he licked his lips, “lecherous. You shall be my wife today and mother of my heir tomorrow.”

Annala bit his hand. She was supposed to merely gum it, but bitterness slipped in.

“I will be a corpse before I am either of those!” she shouted with such passion Remho shed a tear. “Tyrant! My guardian carries a sword for three reasons: defending my life, his own, and ending the lives of those who threaten others! With three strikes, you will die!”

She winced as he backhanded her. Normally, Arin’s actress would swing her head to the side while Muags’ actor motioned and someone backstage slapped a prop, but Remho changed the script this year. A genuine strike created a lovely bruise on his human star’s cheek and brought forth genuine tears.

“You are a fool, maiden! You are to me as that statue; if it displeases me, then I may have it dismembered and beheaded. It is also within my power to keep it polished. I could have these ropes removed, exotic food brought out, spacious rooms prepared, dresses of elegant nature made. Every luxury this world has to offer me, I can offer you.”

“You lie!” Annala declared, bravely staring him in the eyes. “There is only one thing in this world I desire and you cannot offer it. You may conquer a thousand nations and possess a thousand treasure hoards, but you can never conquer my heart nor buy my love!”

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This is the scene where the " the fair maiden slugged the dragon with her golem fist" line that I like to tweet comes from.

Transcending Limitations, and the rest of the Journey to Chaos series, is available for purchase at Amazon as an ebook. The series is also available in Kindle Unlimited. The paperback format is available at Amazon and also at Createspace.

To learn more about the heroines of Journey to Chaos, visit the Tvtropes character sheet.

Brian Wilkerson is a independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

Answering review request: Star Racers

Martin Felando asked me to rad his book Star Racers: Win the Race. Save Your Planet. It is about a universe wide space race where the winner secures protection for their planet from invaders and local warlords. I will examine Plot, Character and Polish and then assign a grade.

PLOT

"Win the race; save your planet" is the slogan for Grand Battle, the space race in question. It is also a concise summary of the plot. The people who join Grand Battle come from planets that have big problems. United Plant Coalition, the force behind Grand Battle, pledges aid to those racers that win. My problem with this set up is that the link between the two is never explained. This is not a "Show; don't tell" thing because there is a talkshow host guy (Verus) who explains things about Grand Battle and how it works, yet he skips the link between "win the race" and "save your planet". The prize's basic role is to serve a macguffin for the story; only the beginning and ending directly have to do with it.

See, this story has a In Media Res format. It begins with Rev Ardent, the protagonist, starting a draft race to qualify and then it jumps back to before he was in any position to even consider competing. The majority of the story is him acquiring the necessary equipment and then making the journey to Grand Hotel, which hosts Grand Battle.  There's nothing wrong with this, in and of itself, but the set up suffers for it. The bulk of the story is made for suspense, tension, and drama yet the format guarantees certain things, which then deflates them. For instance, when Rev says that he is going to quit racing, the reader knows that it will be a Ten Minute Retirement at worst.

However, this is not to say that certain scenes are suspenseful or dramatic. The pre-Grand Battle scenes have a different cast than that at the race itself, and Verus mentions how Rev encountered a lot of trouble reaching Grand Battle, thus implying that he and Sashi are the only survivors of the previous cast. The battle abroad the starliner Stepp I is my favorite part of this story despite knowing that the two leads would survive it because it is still exciting due to the presence of other heroes whose fate is unknown and to the awesome things they do.

The setting that this story takes place in, its technology and culture, is interesting. For instance, there is a smartphone app called "JustThink" (sic) that enables the user to read someone's mind. The narration states that this app is "inexpensive" and there is nothing that one needs to do to the target in order to make it work. Here's the clincher; not only is the device legal to use, it is socially acceptable. The reporters present at Sashi's interview don't have to be covert at all. Sashi even wears a "smart shirt" that displays different messages depending on her mood, and these messages can be seen by anyone near her. This is not the only instance where private information is easily accessible by others. Just thinking about the implications of this are interesting. At the same time, the technology angle is pushed beyond my Willing Suspension of Disbelief.

An example of this is the pair of devices used by the Maelae to mind control. A needle is injected into someone's shoe, remains dormant for an unknown period of time, and when it reaches a destination, which is unknown, is can remove itself and propel itself towards a target whose location could not be known ahead of time; the needle has to find the target on its own. Then it injects liquid into the target which then quickly takes effect. This liquid makes the target berserk but, at the same time, controlled by the liquid to execute certain tasks. How in the world does it do that? There isn't even a handwave like "nanomachines".

After I read the ending, I began to think that "show, don't tell" might have been in effect, after all, regarding Grand Battle's prize. There are numerous references to charity throughout the story, like Besty's Lover promoting a charity that helps war refugees on his planet and the advertising income from one of Grand Battle's side shows goes to support the planets of racers who didn't qualify for the main event. I began thinking that, perhaps, Grand Battle itself is the universe's biggest charity event.

The ending itself is good. The conflict is closed and the premise resolved but there is still an element of And The Adventure Continues.

CHARACTERS

Rev and Sashi, the two leads, are great characters. Rev has this underdog theme matched with racing passion and Sashi has this Iron-Lady-in-training vibe. Rev is basically scared and anxious during all the combat scenes but is capable of harnessing that for impressive competence (including this really gutsy move he pulled on a Maelae destroyer-class ship). Sashi likewise has unshakable self-confidence while also being self-aware of her abilities and driven to improve them. They make a fantastic team in Grand Battle itself. It is their romance that I take issue with, specifically the beginning.

Rev is apparently head-over-heels for Sashi immediately, despite the fact that he spends little time with her at their first meeting and part of that is a private conversation with his AI sidekick. Sashi likewise even though she snubs him for his AI sidekick. Personally, it feels like Strangled By The Red String. The rest of the relationship is good but I don't get how it started.

Stepp and Kaedn don't have this problem. While the start of their relationship isn't shown, it is implied that Stepp made a decision between him and Verus, and this is implied to have been a big deal beyond the relationship itself, so I can assume that there was a good reason and a lot of thought going into it. Now about them individually.

I like Kaedn because he is a fantastic foil for Rev. He is a veteran star racer, well respected in the free city of Nightona that he lives in, and is both courageous and noble. When Rev meets him, it is really no surprise that he seriously considered quitting; Kaedn practically has "The Hero" written all over him. In particular, I like his first scene. It is a meeting with Shiemi, A.K.A. Mor the Warlord to discourage him from allying with the Maelae. On the one hand, he knows such an alliance would be devastating for Earth's free cities, but on the other hand, Shiemi is (or used to be) a good friend of his and his girlfriend and he doesn't want Shiemi to be backstabbed by the Maelae, which they are definitely going to. It is an effective Establishing Character Moment.

Stepp also has a splendid scene that establishes her character. It starts out with her on her private starliner, working on her tan and then having a childish argument with her best friend. It appears as though she is a spoiled and shallow actress, but then she gets a message that her boyfriend is in deadly peril. There's an immediate switch where she gives orders to her starliner's crew and then goes out to rescue him herself.

I could continuing writing paragraphs about the other racers in Grand Battle because they are given space to develop. Scrap Meat, for instance, has a chapter to himself that is great at developing him and his struggles. It is not out-of-place in the narrative either, because much of the story is framed as interviews for Verus' show, Action, Please. However, this review is already far too long (that happens a lot with me).


POLISH
It looks good. I didn't find much of anything wrong with spelling or grammar.

Trickster Eric Novels gives Star Racers a B+

Click here for the previous book review (request): Holindrian

Click here for the next book review (request): Shadowbane - Age of Aelfborn

Brian Wilkerson is a independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).

The return of Sassy Saturday: Priestess at Work

Transcending Limitations has been published and that means the return of Sassy Saturday.  Every week will be an excerpt from one of my novels showcasing a kick-butt heroine. If you want read about the original blog hop the link is here.

The previous Sassy Saturday post can be read here: Annala tells the God of Order that he's full of crap

The context for this post: An adventurer known as "Priestess" goes about her regular business of fighting spiritual monstrosities.

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The ground shook and the air trembled as the Astral Oversoul roared. The people of Coral Plane screamed and scattered, but there was no escaping the terror of its presence. One little boy was too slow and one of its many spiritual hands grabbed him from behind. He wriggled like an insect as the creature brought him to its great maw.

“NOT TODAY!”

A golden-brown blur severed the hand, then swerved in midair, back to the falling boy. Catching him in her arms, she placed him safely on the ground. Then she waved her staff over him and intoned the words of a prayer.

“Interesting times are dangerous times; boring ones safe. For now, stay safe!”

A pale gold aura encompassed the boy and she pushed him away.

“This will only hold for a few minutes. Go find your parents and don’t wander off again.”

“Thanks, lady!”

The creature whipped its mighty hand at her and she raised her staff to block it. The explosion of energy shattered the ground around her but couldn’t hurt the boy or her.

“You’re welcome. I’m here to help.”

The kid scampered off while the lady squared off against the Astral Oversoul.

It was forty feet tall and had a body like a dragon. Composed of soul mist, its body was also ghostly and transparent. It had many arms down its length and all of them were tipped with hands, claws, and feelers. Its head was a giant set of pincers with a mouth at the base.

 She herself was about five and a half feet tall. Her only armor was a fancy priestess habit and her only weapons were a bow, a quiver, a staff without a blade, and a holy paidrin necklace. The spirit monster reached out to grab her and she shouted, “Perrault, go!”

A golden-brown wolf appeared at her side and lunged at the hostile hand. Her teeth sank into its incorporeal flesh and melted it down to the creature’s wrist.

“Keep him busy while I prepare the killing blow.”

The wolf nodded and then darted up the soul creature’s main body. She bit and tore with each step, and each wound released a stream of grey gas.

Shrinking her staff, the priestess placed it behind her ear. Then she took the bow and nocked an arrow. Pulling the string back, she generated a magic circle underneath her feet. It contained routines for channeling her chaotic power in addition to her faith in Lady Chaos, along with the intended mechanical function. With the spell construction complete, she took aim at the dread beast.

“Return to the veins of Noitearc!”

She released the drawstring and the arrow struck the creature’s center of mass. There, it released its payload of holy power. Golden-brown light lanced up and down the monster’s body and disintegrated it. In its place was a towering mass of grey smoke and unearthly screaming.

Ten screams across ten thousand pitches filled the area. They came from the ten souls composing the former Astral Oversoul as they flew about in fear and confusion. Again, the arrow flashed as its secondary function activated.

From its point, a circle appeared in the air. This circle expanded until it was the size of a desk and its insides filled with a complex magical rune. It pulsed once and the writing faded to reveal a tunnel of rainbow light.

“Off you go!”

Air was drawn into the portal and the souls along with it. All of them resisted, but none of them escaped. Perrault tossed the last one in herself. Her mistress scanned the area to make sure they didn’t miss any, then she snapped her fingers. The arrow flashed a third time and the portal closed without fuss.

Perrault trotted to her mistress’ side and heeled. The priestess petted her head while rubbing her back.

“Good girl!”

“Cleaning up after your boyfriend?”

Floating behind the cleric and wolf was a demonic troll. He was squat in height and broader in bulk. His skin was pale, molting, and rotten. He wore an oversized and threadbare black robe through which ratty black bat wings emerged. The robe’s hood concealed his face except for his long and liver-spotted nose. His scythe was a worm-eaten wooden pole with a bronze blade coated in patina.

Looking at him made her sick, so she spoke with her back to him. “I wouldn’t have to if you did your job, Reaper.”

“I don’t have to until I fulfill my Final Wish, which you are preventing me from doing.”

Perrault barked at him.

“All I’m preventing you from doing is exploiting the souls of the dead for a petty grudge.”

“So much damage and so much trouble; it would be better for the world and everyone in it if you would let me kill him.”

The priestess gripped her bow tighter but still did not face him. She didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of seeing her angered. One look at that ugly and smug face of his and she might launch another arrow at him. He loved illustrating how she couldn’t permanently kill him.

“You will never kill him.”

“‘Never’ is a big word, Priestess. Aren’t you always preaching about how ‘all things are possible with chaos’?”

The cleric spun around and nocked an arrow. “Including your death!”

The reaper laughed. He pointed and laughed. The girl grumbled as she put away her bow and arrow. Then she knelt again and whispered into her familiar’s ear.

“Bite him.”

Perrault dashed forwards and snapped up the reaper’s left foot. He yelled and shook her to and fro, and when he finally dislodged her, it was because she took his foot clean off. The priestess laughed at him. She pointed and laughed.

“That was immature of you, Annala.”

The girl immediately stopped laughing. “Do not use my real name. You might cause a paradox. Unless you’re talking to my mainstream self, you have to call me ‘Priestess.’”

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Transcending Limitations, and the rest of the Journey to Chaos series, is available for purchase at Amazon as an ebook. The series is also available in Kindle Unlimited. The paperback format is available at Amazon and also Createspace.

To learn more about the heroines of Journey to Chaos, visit the Tvtropes character sheet.

Brian Wilkerson is a independent novelist, freelance book reviewer, and writing advice blogger. He studied at the University of Minnesota and came away with bachelor degrees in English Literature and History (Classical Mediterranean Period concentration).